[learning to live a perfectly imperfect life]

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Christmas 2009

We fell in love with his photo...



and, if you asked the kids, we "sent him money so he could buy a Mom and Dad."

We hung the ornament we received on our tree -- the ornament represented a little boy who needed a home. And so we talked about him, and thought about him a lot.



I didn't stop thinking about him.

In fact, to be honest, there were many moments when I wondered if he should be ours.

My heart really wanted him.

But our lives weren't ready.

* * *

Christmas 2010

He was still there.



More money.

Another ornament -- another reminder of a little boy without a home. Without a family.



More thoughts. More desire to bring him home. To our home.

Waiting for something to tell me it was right... that he was ours.

* * *

April 2011

We found out he wasn't ours.

We found out where he belonged.

He belonged with his family...




Jake and Ashley Gibson were his Mom and Dad,



and they began their journey to bring him home.






In November, they did just that. They brought him home.



And now, my thoughts aren't about where his home is... now I know.

He is exactly where he belongs -- I can see it in his smile... his laugh.

He is experiencing fun toys and dogs and popcorn ball-making and gifts from far-away friends and haircuts and car seats and unconditional love.



And this year, because of an incredibly thoughtful Mom, we have a 3rd ornament on our tree.



The ornament doesn't represent a little boy who needs a family... a home.

The ornament represents a little boy who has a family...

He is home.

Happy Holidays 2011!

Thoughts

I feel most inspired to write when I can't. Or I shouldn't be.

Like right now.

Right now I have two kids, watching a show on the couch, periodically requesting more grapes. Right now I have 3 cupboard doors open in my kitchen and a dishwasher hanging wide open, half-emptied. (Or half-full, I guess... depends on your mood.) Right now I have a dog shuffling her food and water dish around the kitchen floor with her front paws, signaling to me that she's ready for supper. Right now I have a clock nearing 5:30, which means that I should have supper started. At the very least, I should know what I'm making for supper.

The truth is... right now I have a ton of thoughts in my head. Thoughts about the holidays, challenging child behaviors, brownies and iPads. I have thoughts about friends, Christmas presents and raising a teenager (who is now living here full-time.) I have thoughts about cleaning the house, finding time for my husband, and strawberry daiquiris. (Actually, not much thought on that last one except for wanting one.)

But, the kids' requests for more grapes are becoming louder and more difficult to ignore, the dog is now sitting at my feet whining, and supper is not making itself.

So, my thoughts will have to wait. And later, when the kids have gone to bed, the hum of the dishwasher washing dishes can be faintly heard from the kitchen, the Christmas tree lights are sparkling and reflecting against the window... the perfect environment to reflect and write.... I will be tired and my mind will be trying to recollect just what on earth I had to say about brownies and iPads that was inspiring (or even remotely interesting.)

For now, I will leave you with this.



As soon as I can wrap my arms around the overwhelmingly wonderful feelings I have for this little boy,

and now his forever Mom and Dad,

I will be back.