Translation

Today I learned that "Please come here", translated into the language of 5- and 1-year olds, means, "Please run away from me quickly, in opposite directions of each other, while giggling."

An Electronic Water Bottle

Carter was playing with the water bottle we use to squirt the kids' hair... when my hair (and shirt) was wet enough, I decided to close up the nozzle on it so water wouldn't come out anymore.  I gave it back to Carter, thinking he would lose interest immediately and go on to play with something else.  Instead of losing interest, he began to squeeze the trigger harder and harder to get water to come out.  I told Carter, "It doesn't work right now."  He looked at me and said, "Ma... bah-wees."  (batteries)

Makes sense.  It doesn't work.  It needs batteries.

Smart kid.